
2nd June 2020
Zoom Zoom
What are you doing
During the pandemic?
I’m baking bread
Trying not to panic
I’m planting herbs
On a commercial scale
And really looking forward
To checking the mail
The dog’s never been skinnier
Walked three times a day
I ransacked the shed
For old board games to play
Read War and Peace
Binged on podcasts
Placed a bet with Ladbrokes
On how long COVID would last
Rewatched The Sopranos
All 86 episodes
Doing a lot more washing
Loads and loads
Online school classes
I have a new respect for teachers
Hearing tuba lessons online
Was definitely the feature
And homeschooling a 6-year-old
How hard could that be?
I’ll let you all know
When I finish therapy
Time for a Zoom meeting
I better get dressed
And find a Zoom background
That’ll really impress
It’s not that I don’t care
It’s not that I don’t miss you
But if I’m not at the meeting
I’m having technical issues
Working from home
Can send you ’round the bend
How do you know
When it’s the weekend?
Is 4 o’clock too early for the first glass of wine?
Is wearing PJs all day such a big crime?
Who’d have thought jigsaw puzzles
Would be all the rage
Some really weird shit
Has come out of this plague
We’ve all learnt new words
Like JobSeeker and JobKeeper
And who would’ve thought
That petrol would get cheaper
So we’re keeping our distance
And washing our hands
Keeping really busy
Not making holiday plans
For so many people
This has been hell
No gym, no cinema
No NRL
We’ve flattened the curve
We’re killing this bug
It won’t be too long
When we can all have a hug.
– Jeff Smith, Senior Creative